| Paul Mcloughlin
Joke: wats long hard and f**ks
austrailians?
Primary school.
Sally Housser
Joke: Q: How come French people
only ever eat one egg?
A: One egg is un oeuf.
Paul Deehan
Joke: Whats a women and a comdom
got in common?
They spend more time in your wallet than on your cock.
Nikhil Adhia
Joke: Isn't it depressing how
Indians can be so cheap. My cousin came around to give
me my birthday present today with this new eau d'toilette
'AMPLE' until I realised when I looked closer and noticed
that he had scratched out the 'S'... in fact he had
just gone and got me a 'SAMPLE'!!
Steve Schneider
Joke: I enjoy masturbating
twice a day. The other three times I am kind of forcing
myself.
Pete Kermally
Joke: If your escaping from police dogs don't jump over
hurdles and through flaming hoops - they're trained
for that!
Laurence Tuck
Joke: When is a door not a
door. When it's Jim Morrison.
Stuart Morrison
Joke: They say laughter is
the best medicine, but not for erectile dysfunction.
Mark Cornell
Joke: I was driving down the
motorway, when, to my amazement, a provession of big,
black hearses shot past me on the inside lane. Fucking
undertakers. Bit late to be in a hurry, isn't it?
Liam Pickford
Joke: i suffer from man thrush,
which is particularly vicious during the summer months,
like a greenhouse made of bacon.I went to me mam and
asked her to go in the chemist to get my some canesten.
she said "use yoghurt son, clear it up in no time"-
i didn't know she meant eat it. now my cock smells like
a toffee apple, which you might think is a disadvantage,
but my ability to obtain blowjobs from fat girls has
increased remarkably.
Sam Eden
Joke: never date a dyslexic
midget. its not big and its not clever
Bradford Keen
Joke: Little Johnny wakes up
in the middle of the night, hears some commotion coming
from his parents bedroom.He checks it out and walks
in on them having sex and runs away in alarm. His dad
sees this and goes to check on Johnny. He's about to
enter when he hears some commotion coming from little
Johnny's room. He walks in to see Johnny shagging his
grandma. The dad says what the hell is going on here?
Johnny looks up and says 'its not so funny when it's
your mum is it?'
Marcus O'Toole
Joke: Q. What do you get when
you cross a Scotsman and a sheep?
A. I don't know, I've been experimenting for 5 years,
but the results are inconclusive.
Ross coen/ joeseph king
Joke: Austria's stag industry
has fallen to pieces since word hit england that they
really do lock thier daughters up
Gareth Pyle
Joke: I went to the doctor's
recently for a routine check-up, and it turns out I'm
apparently suffering from both premature ejaculation
and mild incontinence, so I genuinely never quite know
if I'm coming or going.
SAL STEVENS
Joke: Did you hear about th
efootbal match between echa-sketch fc and craoyla town?
It was a draw
Eamonn Bownes
Joke: When I was growing up
a really wanted to become a plumber but that was just
a pipe dream.
Tom Newell
Joke: A Rabbi, a Priest and
a Leprechaun walk into a bar. The Leprechaun looks around
and says, "Bejaaaysus! I'm in the wrong feckin'
joke!
Billy Hill
Joke: I tried dogging in Surrey
for the first time the other week. I don't drive, but
you should have seen the look on the taxi driver's face.
Nathaniel Metcalfe
Joke: A pessimist would say
that a glass is half empty, whereas an optimist is what
American's call an opticians.
Harry Larkin
Joke: Dust man knocked on my
door: Where's ya bin!
I replied: ive bin on holiday!
Dust man: No where's ya wheeley bin!
I reply (frustrated): i Wheeley bin on hoilday!!!
James Davies
Joke: The label on viagra says
if an erection lasts for more than 4 hours call your
doctor. Why would I? I don't even fancy my doctor!
James Turner
Joke: Q. Whats long, hard and
f**ks old people?
A. Winter
Dory Dutton
Joke: a friend of mine asked
if she could borrow a tampon. I said No. Just keep it.
Paul Butcher
Joke: Quote: "I think
it's funny that Spiderman has a website." (my mum)
Tom Cather
Joke: I mistook Viagra for
Valium and ended up with 40 wanks.
tim rivett
Joke: There's a poster up in
my doctor's surgery that says "living with suicide?"
They've sort of missed the point haven't they?
Paddy Hornby
Joke: When the Australian met
Queen Elizabeth, he was overwhelmed. Back in Australia
he had only ever seen her on the back of a coin or on
a postage stamp. Poor bastard didn't know whether to
shake her hand, stick her in a coke machine or lick
the back of her neck.
Stuart Mceown
Joke: Two old men on bench.
One says' I bet I can tell how old you are'.
'Fuck off you can'.
'I can.I bet you this week's pension I can.'
'You're on.'
Old man A then instructs old man B to bend over and
pull his pants down. Old man B looks puzzled, but complies.
Old man A rams his fist up B's arse, jiggles it about,
pulls it out and proclaims:
'You're eighty-three.'
'How do you know that?'
'You told me yesterday'
Boom boom.
Danny Satchel
Joke: a cat hijacked a plane
and said take me to the canarys.
Paddy Hornby
Joke: When the Australian met
Queen Elizabeth, he was overwhelmed. Back in Australia
he had only ever seen her on the back of a coin or on
a postage stamp. Poor bastard didn't know whether to
shake her hand, stick her in a coke machine or lick
the back of her neck.
Billy Hill
Joke: I tried dogging in Surrey
for the first time the other week. I don't drive, but
you should have seen the look on the taxi driver's face.
Matthew Gibbs
Joke: What goes clip-ity clop,
clip-ity-clop, clip-ity-clop. Bang, bang. Clip-ity-clop,
clip-ity-clop, clip-ity-clop?
An Amish drive by shooting.
Frank Cassidy
Joke: Knock Knock! Who's there?
"A doorbell salesman, and I think I've got a great
'new' product for you!"
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